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I’ll take the chair.”Molly didn’t need any further invitation. Ungraciously she plopped down on the bed, put her hands in her face and started sobbing. Realistically, this was actually probably ‘resuming sobbing.’I sat there awkwardly. I may have tried to help her out emotionally but I was never good dealing with someone who was crying. “So, um, what’s wrong?”“Carson.” she managed to say between sobs.This was also uncharted territory. We never brought up Carson during these conversations. She didn’t, for sure, and I was given a stern look if I ever brought him up, even as a joke. “What did he do?”Molly stopped sobbing and looked at the floor for the longest time. “I just don’t get it.”I chuckled. “Neither do I, because I don’t know what the fuck is going on here.”She looked up at me, clearly not amused. “He broke up with me.”Internally, I chuckled again. That’s it? I thought. My outer self knew better, luckily. “Oh. I’m sorry, Molly.”“I didn’t – he wasn’t – I didn’t think he was the. Your work. Your many nights of unbearable sadness. Always there. Listening to your every word, promising to be there for you, responding every time you emailed or pinged on Yahoo. The one you chose to be your online friend and lover kept the bond strong and vital. Kept you coming back for the comfort and the company you so missed and needed. It became a fairy tale just at the edge of reality and you gladly romped among the colored flowers and clouds, thinking only of the rewards and not the jeopardy. After all this was online and it meant nothing. Right? Just pretend people with pretend feelings. So, ask yourself then, why does it hurt? There’s not supposed to be hurt when you pretend. What’s that all about? Suddenly the colored flowers and clouds have morphed into a dimly lit room, wall to wall carpeting and a laptop now too bright for your eyes. Somehow while you were pretending you exchanged email addresses, pictures of each other, cellphone numbers, and private addresses. You.
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